Phase Five of “appropriate behavior at the gym: the do’s and don’ts, according to a guy with an opinion about anything and everything”
 Don’t: Grunt or yell while lifting
    I know, I know, I don’t know what it is like to lift 350 pounds, so I should not be commenting on the subject of grunting. And you are absolutely right, but I certainly know what it is like to max out and in doing so I refrain from the huge grunt or the loud yell. Maxing at any level whether you are maxing out with light weights because that is your strength level or you are maxing out with ginormous weights, exerts the same amount of concentrated, maximized energy. Therefore there should really be no excuse for grunting or yelling out while working out. I have seen a dude three times my size max out with out making a peep and you want to know why, because he did not feel the need to initiate the inner barbarian at that moment. Now I am fully aware that when you lift you need to pump yourself up mentally and get into that savage mode of thought, but it doesn’t mean you need to act it out. Realize when you let this inner barbarian take control you are really only making a spectacle of yourself. You are drawing attention to yourself which in most cases is bad. I say this because most of the cases I have seen where people are grunting or yelling, have been because they were not properly executing the exercise they were attempting. I see guys doing curls with weights they have no business lifting – wobbling unevenly, rocking the weight instead of lifting it, using there back to lift in an improper way and all the while (yes you guessed it) they were grunting or yelling while everyone around them either shakes their head or chuckles to themselves. Not only are you a spectacle but now you are at risk of ruining your muscle tissue all together because you improperly lifting. According to personal trainer for a very popular gym (both of which need to remain nameless) “chances are if you let out that rebel yell or that exhausted grunt, you are most likely doing something wrong…and while you may see immediate results doing it the wrong way, in the long run your muscles will suffer. Not to mention that you sound funky man.” Even if you are lifting correctly, there is still no reason to yell or grunt: curb yourself, you are not in the wild you are at a communal gym where others don’t want to hear you.
 Do’s: lift properly and just breathe man
   Proper breathing is an essential part of working out correctly and it allows for you not to be the village idiot when you lift. But before the breathing even comes into play make sure you are lifting correctly…first and foremost every time. When you lift, literally just breathe. “While lifting, you are supposed to inhale the resistance and exhale the release. But when you hear someone grunting,” our personal trainer informs us “it is usually when they begin the resistance…when they are putting the weight up.” You hear that, breathe in when you put the weights up don’t let a yelp out. “When you come down with the weight, you normally just hear a sigh even if you are one who grunts or yells.” I have never seen anyone get dirty looks or attract attention for letting out a sigh. Breathing the proper way allows better air circulation within the blood stream, and there for helps to better circulate the blood flow while you are lifting. It seems silly but breathing correctly while lifting makes a world of difference and it elevates the need for barbaric noises escaping your vocal chords. While I may not be a grunter, I have been breathing incorrectly while lifting for sometime now. After I was shown how to properly breathe while lifting it took a long while to really get it down, because chances are if you were doing it wrong, you were doing it wrong for quite a while- which in most cases wears a condition in your body that knows no other way but the incorrect one. So although it might be tricky and seem tedious and mundane, focus on your breathing. If not for yourself, at least for everyone else around you, that has to endure your god awful noises. Once again this is just my opinion, take it or leave it.
Posted in Lucas Hart, Real People | 2 Comments
    There is absolutely nothing more repulsive than going to use a bench after Boris the 3 ton muscle machine just used it, and laying down unknowingly in a puddle of pure sweat. It is a well known fact, even if you grace the presence of a bottom feeder on the IQ food chain, that when you do something to put your body in a constant state of motion/action/resistance that after a while you will begin to perspire (or more simply put – if you are highly active for more than thirty seconds at a time you are bound to sweat). With this common human knowledge ingrained into about 98.5% of the human population from about the age of four, it bewilders me as to why people, knowing this fact, believe that they do not sweat when in the gym on the gym’s equipment. I see people who step off the treadmill, wipe the sweat from their brow and 30 seconds later hop onto a bench or a machine with some type of seating. Which in and of itself is completely fine, but then when they are done they just get up and walk away as their sweat glistens in a large stain left on that particular piece of equipment. This is just not ok in any situation. You would not go running for 20 minutes and then sit on your friends couch drenched in sweat (unless you are trying to mess with them somehow). At the gym it is slightly different, because it is ok to sit on that bench or seat after running for thirty minutes, but it is not ok to walk away without wiping down the equipment after using it. Whether you do it with a personal towel that you bring from home or a wipe that the gym offers, just simply take the 20 extra seconds to somewhat sanitize the equipment after you use it. The last thing that anyone wants is to get SARS from trying to reach a new bench mark on the press.
- Is there ever really plausibly sound scenario, not just in the gym but in society in general, of when it would be appropriate for me to here your conversation while I am more than 40 feet away from you? The answer of course being not really: pending some interesting circumstances, none of which, however, can be applied to the communal gym setting. Who in the world wants to hear about how many sets you have done so far or how many “Jager” shots you and your overly hair gelled buddy did last Saturday or about how you are having relationship problems? The answer is once a gain a simple one, NO ONE but the immediate person that your conversation is directed towards. If I am in normal earshot of your conversation, then it is my own prerogative to hear what you are saying: at any time I can move a little bit further away and choose to work on something else if your conversation is bothering me. But if I am already a good distance away from you how the hell is this supposed to work. Should I be forced to listen to head phones when I am at the gym because I don’t want to hear your conversation from three car lengths away? No, I most certainly should not. You are having a great time and joking with your buddy and that is just fine and dandy but not everyone around you wants to hear about it. This is one of the main things that I notice the most when I am at the gym. It’s always one or two people each gym shift. Meaning that if you try to work out at night you will have one or two of them or if you want to work out in the afternoon you will have one or two of them. These are the same people that do this crap in public. They subconsciously want those around them to be impressed by what they have to say or they want their so called “swagger” to be a little more apparent. If the goal is to draw attention to yourself, well it is working, but the attention you are getting is probably not the kind you want. Whatever the case may be, regardless of what you are trying to do and regardless if it is truly intentional or not, cut it out it is annoying to most of those around you.
Phase two of “appropriate behavior at the gym: the do’s and don’ts, according to a guy with an opinion about anything and everything”
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