Phase Eight of “appropriate behavior at the gym: the do’s and don’ts, according to a guy with an opinion about anything and everything”
Don’t: Use three to five machines/benches/weights at once
Ever since the p-90X and cross fit workouts have become so popular, this has been a phenomenon that I have witnessed in the gym. And While both of those types of workouts are insanely good for you (in most cases) and do yield substantial results, they don’t really pan out in the common gym dynamic, the way that people tend to go about them. When I say “the way that people go about them,” I mean the way people go about hording equipment. For instance, yesterday when I was at the gym, I noticed that a guy on the cross cables had three different types of attachments on the ground next to him and then one that he was using on the cross cables themselves. I just thought they were there because someone just didn’t put them up when they were finished, but that was not in fact the case. A man came up and asked, can I use that one (pointing at the attachment for triangular tricep extension) and the guy on the cross cables said “no I’m using that one.” The guy asking, looked puzzled but then fine, and then he asked can I sue that one (pointing at the attachment for the straight bar) and the guy said “no I am actually using all of these right now for a cycle workout – I will be done in about 20 minutes if you want to use them.” Really though??!!! I wanted to walk over there and just snatch one and give it to the other guy, but then I would be doing the crap that I hate that other people do at the gym. In a sense that a person is restraining other people from being able to use the gym when they come in and the only time that should ever really happen is when the gym is actually packed to capacity and you have to wait to use a machine. In this case, it was not even close. It was 11pm at night and hardly a soul was around at the gym – which is why (I later found out) is the reason that the guy trying to use the equipment goes late at night. It is probably why the other guy goes as well, so that he can get those types of cross fit workouts in- which is fine but not when you are taking up four pieces of equipment and not letting others who want to, use them. But this does not just simply happen at big gyms at late hours, this happens during peak prime time hours when equipment is scarce to begin with and it also happens at smaller and residential gyms where equipment is scarce to begin with. I was in my building gym and a guy was on a five machine cycle and I went to hop on one and he was like, bro I am using that, so I said alright. Then, I hopped onto the next one and he was like, man I am using that one too. At that point I laughed (because I had already seen him use three other pieces of equipment) and worked out anyways letting him work on that machine in between sets – which mind you, out of five sets, he only needed to work in once. He probably thinks that I am rude for laughing at him and going about my workout and to an extent I am but – you can’t take up ¾’s of the gym and expect no one else to try and cut in.
Do’s: be MINDFUL (it’s broad but the explanation covers it)
I am all for these types of workouts, because like I said previously, they are quite effective and they are becoming more and more popular. Just be mindful when doing them. If you are using four pieces of equipment and two people jump on two of those machines go about your workout and when you get to those two machines see if you can work in with those people on their accord in between their sets, so that you are not holding people up. And the guy late at night, that is perfect planning. Go later at night when less people are there, so you can do these types of workouts. But if other people want to use the equipment you have stock piled, by all damn means please let them and if it is that crucial to your workout, ask if you can work in with them. People have just as much right to the equipment as you do. In all essence, you can even be more of the hardball in this situation and it would still be fine. Meaning if you really want that extra piece of equipment you can say “yeah I am using that one too but if you want you can work in with me.” It still makes you look like the little ass on the playground that took all the good toys but at least you are not inhibiting people from doing what they came to do at the gym. I am not saying that it is bad to do these workouts in the common gym or that you should not do them, but all I am saying is just be mindful on how you approach going about them. Once again this is simply my opinion, take it or leave it.
Posted in Lucas Hart, Real People | COMMENT ON THIS BLOG

 Boy, do I absolutely hate when this happens to me. I view this as a real life scenario that seems to get played out time and time again with that friend you have that is always finding new ways to make you not want to invite him, or others in general for that matter, back to your house. You know that one friend or acquaintance that just comes over and treats your house like it is his own (well probably treats it way worse) – a Kramer pretty much. He or she says they are coming over to hang out and watch the game but when they come over, they come with a keg and five unruly individuals that leave your house in ruins. Or it’s the friend that eats half of that candy bar that you have been saving or drinks half of the last beer that you were looking forward to and then puts it back into the fridge. It may be an extreme example but it is coasting on the same tracks for sure. I am using the cable cross for tricep extensions and you ask me if you can work in with me. I of course say yes without any hesitation because that is just usually how it works at the gym. But then you move the cable cross from the top to the bottom and lessen the weight by 30 to 40 pounds. I come back from the drinking fountain a little irked to find that you didn’t put the cable cross back up where I had it and then nonchalantly go to use it after putting the cable back up. I then slam the weights of the machine when I go to use it because I am thinking that I will still need to exert the same force to lift that extra 30-40 pounds that is no longer there. Then I look like a jackass, run the risk of throwing out or pulling something and I have to stop what I am doing and readjust the weights. All because you are choosing to be rude and lazy on my good graces. I let you in so that you didn’t have to wait for me to finish and you totally throw it in my face. And I can say something to you but why would I? You have already spent the majority of your life not getting these social norms, so what is a random guy at the gym’s opinion going to do for you. You will probably blow me off like you did with your parents when they tried to teach you this stuff when you were five. Just not cool man.
    I know, I know, I don’t know what it is like to lift 350 pounds, so I should not be commenting on the subject of grunting. And you are absolutely right, but I certainly know what it is like to max out and in doing so I refrain from the huge grunt or the loud yell. Maxing at any level whether you are maxing out with light weights because that is your strength level or you are maxing out with ginormous weights, exerts the same amount of concentrated, maximized energy. Therefore there should really be no excuse for grunting or yelling out while working out. I have seen a dude three times my size max out with out making a peep and you want to know why, because he did not feel the need to initiate the inner barbarian at that moment. Now I am fully aware that when you lift you need to pump yourself up mentally and get into that savage mode of thought, but it doesn’t mean you need to act it out. Realize when you let this inner barbarian take control you are really only making a spectacle of yourself. You are drawing attention to yourself which in most cases is bad. I say this because most of the cases I have seen where people are grunting or yelling, have been because they were not properly executing the exercise they were attempting. I see guys doing curls with weights they have no business lifting – wobbling unevenly, rocking the weight instead of lifting it, using there back to lift in an improper way and all the while (yes you guessed it) they were grunting or yelling while everyone around them either shakes their head or chuckles to themselves. Not only are you a spectacle but now you are at risk of ruining your muscle tissue all together because you improperly lifting. According to personal trainer for a very popular gym (both of which need to remain nameless) “chances are if you let out that rebel yell or that exhausted grunt, you are most likely doing something wrong…and while you may see immediate results doing it the wrong way, in the long run your muscles will suffer. Not to mention that you sound funky man.” Even if you are lifting correctly, there is still no reason to yell or grunt: curb yourself, you are not in the wild you are at a communal gym where others don’t want to hear you.
    There is absolutely nothing more repulsive than going to use a bench after Boris the 3 ton muscle machine just used it, and laying down unknowingly in a puddle of pure sweat. It is a well known fact, even if you grace the presence of a bottom feeder on the IQ food chain, that when you do something to put your body in a constant state of motion/action/resistance that after a while you will begin to perspire (or more simply put – if you are highly active for more than thirty seconds at a time you are bound to sweat). With this common human knowledge ingrained into about 98.5% of the human population from about the age of four, it bewilders me as to why people, knowing this fact, believe that they do not sweat when in the gym on the gym’s equipment. I see people who step off the treadmill, wipe the sweat from their brow and 30 seconds later hop onto a bench or a machine with some type of seating. Which in and of itself is completely fine, but then when they are done they just get up and walk away as their sweat glistens in a large stain left on that particular piece of equipment. This is just not ok in any situation. You would not go running for 20 minutes and then sit on your friends couch drenched in sweat (unless you are trying to mess with them somehow). At the gym it is slightly different, because it is ok to sit on that bench or seat after running for thirty minutes, but it is not ok to walk away without wiping down the equipment after using it. Whether you do it with a personal towel that you bring from home or a wipe that the gym offers, just simply take the 20 extra seconds to somewhat sanitize the equipment after you use it. The last thing that anyone wants is to get SARS from trying to reach a new bench mark on the press.
- Is there ever really plausibly sound scenario, not just in the gym but in society in general, of when it would be appropriate for me to here your conversation while I am more than 40 feet away from you? The answer of course being not really: pending some interesting circumstances, none of which, however, can be applied to the communal gym setting. Who in the world wants to hear about how many sets you have done so far or how many “Jager” shots you and your overly hair gelled buddy did last Saturday or about how you are having relationship problems? The answer is once a gain a simple one, NO ONE but the immediate person that your conversation is directed towards. If I am in normal earshot of your conversation, then it is my own prerogative to hear what you are saying: at any time I can move a little bit further away and choose to work on something else if your conversation is bothering me. But if I am already a good distance away from you how the hell is this supposed to work. Should I be forced to listen to head phones when I am at the gym because I don’t want to hear your conversation from three car lengths away? No, I most certainly should not. You are having a great time and joking with your buddy and that is just fine and dandy but not everyone around you wants to hear about it. This is one of the main things that I notice the most when I am at the gym. It’s always one or two people each gym shift. Meaning that if you try to work out at night you will have one or two of them or if you want to work out in the afternoon you will have one or two of them. These are the same people that do this crap in public. They subconsciously want those around them to be impressed by what they have to say or they want their so called “swagger” to be a little more apparent. If the goal is to draw attention to yourself, well it is working, but the attention you are getting is probably not the kind you want. Whatever the case may be, regardless of what you are trying to do and regardless if it is truly intentional or not, cut it out it is annoying to most of those around you.
Phase two of “appropriate behavior at the gym: the do’s and don’ts, according to a guy with an opinion about anything and everything”
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