Side note: for the next three phases of this ongoing mild rant I want to bring up what I like to call the IPod trio. These next three phases are more comical to me than annoying. I don’t get as mad at these three as I do all of the others, but none the less, these three are still bothersome to many people sharing the communal gym.

Phase Nine of “appropriate behavior at the gym: the do’s and don’ts, according to a guy with an opinion about anything and everything.”

Don’t: sing at the top of your lung while you listen to your IPod
It does not take a genius to realize that when you have your IPod volume cranked past “turn it the f’ down already,” your voice seems to project itself at higher decibels than usual. Why is this you ask, well it’s a matter of simple physicality’s really. You see the Lady Gaga Technocratic remix ft. Soulja Boy or whatever other god awful song you are blaring, is playing directly in your ear drum at a high level of capacity sound waves. This in turn blocks out external as well as internal interior sounds, like your own William Hung-like voice that makes you yourself want to cry whenever your head phones aren’t embedded in those tiny little ear drums of yours. And it’s perfectly ok that you have a dreadful singing voice, hell my own car radio tells me to shut up when I’m alone with it, that’s how bad my singing pipes are. Its not the signing itself that irritates others or makes me laugh, it’s the fact that everyone can hear you singing and on top of that everyone has to hear you at very high and extremely putrid levels. I do not want to be mid bench and have to hear your tone deaf acapella version of “loving you.” Last week I will have to say that I got a huge kick out of this exact scenario. I am in between a set of bicep curls just relaxing when out of no where this dude, this gargantuan of a human being actually, just bursts out into song (but of course only for a couple lines at a time). The dude next to me on the cable cross over machine  is in mid motion and completely falters and gets thrown off balance by this man’s startling yelp. It actually isn’t all that funny because the guy on the cable cross over machine totally almost rips his shoulder out of the socket when he was thrown off balance because of the tremendous singing talents of Baby Huey on the lat pull downs (waiting to start a new rep).

Do: keep it to yourself and sing in your head or under you breathe like the rest of us
Personally I could care less, I think it is hilarious. But after speaking with a couple of people at the gym and seeing its destructive effects on cross cable man, I realize that it is certainly a nuisance when people sing at the top of their lungs when they are listening to their IPods loudly at the gym. Listen – if you can hear me over your obnoxious singing voice – please just keep it in the voice box. There’s really not much else to say other than it is a spectacle or a distraction or in some cases a health hazard. So for the well being of others ear drums and limbs, try your best to not to let your inner Pavarotti out while in the gym. Once again this is simply my opinion, take it or leave it.