Side note: this is phase three of the mini series “Three Amigos of Cell abuse.”

Phase Fourteen of “appropriate behavior at the gym: the do’s and don’ts, according to a guy with an opinion about anything and everything.”

Don’t: talk so loud on the phone that everyone knows your business

This is a no brainer that goes along with so many things that I have mentioned in the blogs before this one. Nobody needs to know your business, especially while at the gym. This is in that same category as the guys who just in general talk way too loud at the gym, so that people know what they did last night and with whom. But this time it is even worse because you are on the phone at a gym. There is no need for me to hear about how your night went or for me to hear about why Rachel didn’t think that guy was cute. Like I said, it is bad enough when this goes on at the gym in the first place. But the situation is compounded 10 fold when it happens when someone is pacing around throughout the gym on their phone. At least when people are overly loud about their conversations for the most part in the gym, they are usually stationary. But people who talk on their phone at unnecessary decibels so that others are able to peer into their lives, tend to –from 99% of the examples I have encountered, seem to want to pace around while they have these conversation, spreading around their verbal garbage like an out of control crop duster. Why is this necessary?

Do’s for the last three phases:

I’m just going to dive right into this one: don’t abuse your phone at the gym. People, it can wait for the most part. Brad and then gang are still going to be available to tell you that they are going out four hours from now, in another thirty minutes. The chances of you missing out on a once in a lifetime phone call of your buddies inviting you to go on helicopter ride with Jay Z, David Beckham and two super models, that warrants immediate response, is about one and two billion – unless P. Diddy is reading this. It’s OK to clear the call and save it for a little bit later. But regardless, even if you do answer your phone which is still ok, there are some norms you should follow. If it is a call that really can wait, why don’t you just tell the person that you are at the gym and will call them back in like 45 minutes to an hour. If the call is super urgent step outside of the gym and take it. If the call is urgent WHY wouldn’t you step outside is the bigger question? I don’t know about you but if I get an important call I don’t want to try and battle the background noise of grunting, machine clacking, poppy songs, and random conversations. Ok, onto another plane: if you do feel like having a conversation in the gym, why can’t you step aside where no one else is occupying space and simply take the call like you normally would. Now if you always take calls at a loud volume so that we can all enjoy your conversation, well there is simply no hope for you because your narcissistic ways have crippled your ability to function like a normal person in society. Like the rest of these rants and topics all that is really needed to correct this malfunctioning beast is common sense, decency, public awareness and a sense of communal courtesy. I am not saying you shouldn’t ever use your phone at the gym by any means, I am saying that you should be mindful about how you go about using your phone in the gym or in public in general for that matter, that’s all. Once again this is simply my opinion, take it or leave it.