Phase Sixteen of “appropriate behavior at the gym: the do’s and don’ts, according to a guy with an opinion about anything and everything.”

Piggy backing on the last entry I am going to write about two more personal inquiries that I felt needed to be thrown out there and established. Neither one of these is a do or don’t and neither of these really effect anyone else. This week I am going to bring up the specialized “wife beater” or “workout shirt.”

The one that gets me the most is the one that I see the least of and that is the netted tank top. I only see about two regulars wearing this at any given time and maybe a passerby from time to time in the gym, rock this “get up” of hilarity. What is funny about is the correlation that I have found that flows almost a hundred percent concurrently with the netted tank top. Out of all the people I see at the gym and out of all the behaviors I constantly notice, the only two people I have ever seen asked to put their shirts back on while at the gym (more than once might I add) are the same two regulars who constantly wear these tank tops. Consequently, every time I have seen them without any type of shirt on they had been wearing a regular shirt and not a one of these specialized tank tops. Who knows, maybe they over heat so badly that they either have to wear XXX looking mesh or they need to just go prison yard all over everyone and skin it out. I can’t imagine that being the case but I have to give them the benefit of the doubt. No harm is done here, its just kind of funny that  I will go into the gym in San Diego and immediately be transported to a 1983 Miami boardwalk. The other one that I constantly see is latex inspired, prefabricated sleeveless shirt that no matter what your body type makes you looks like you came to the gym with a shirt painted on your torso. Not only do these things cost anywhere from $50-$75 dollars, they make you look like a character out of X-Men (maybe that is what they are going for).

With both of these two clothing prototypes, we will call the first one the AC Slater and the second the 50 Cent, I find it hard to find the purpose behind them. A regular tank top or wife beater or an old tee with the sleeves cut off, are all perfectly acceptable at the gym. For the AC Slater I can see that a wife beater or a regular tee might be too tight on the body not allowing it to fully breathe, but a tank top or an old tee with the sleeves cut off allows for optimum air flow throughout the body, much like the Portuguese fishing net parka that you prefer to wear. As for the 50 cent look, the whole point of the sleeveless shirt (other than its vanity roots) is to curb overheating while in the midst of exercise. Something that is pretty much tattooed to your body is not going to do that instead it is going to further perpetuate overheating, so really there is no point to it. Both of these prototypes, to me, seem to exist purely out of a branching form of narcissism – but that is just my opinion. There are plenty of other options that make more sense, a regular tee shirt being at the top of that list.

I can really care less about either and like I said before, these are bringing no harm to anyone at the gym. I just thought I would throw it up there like a Hail Mary and see what others think about it. What do you think about it? Do you think I should just mind my own business? Do you think these things are just as ridiculous as I think they are? Are you someone who wears this gear (yikes)? Wear on, those of you who wear either of these, it is your personal choice and who the hell am I to tell you otherwise. I just personally think it is hilarious, ridiculous and definitely not needed – but at the same time you might think the same about me and these blogs. Once again this is simply my opinion, take it or leave it