Hey Friends!
I hope this finds you well. This is a long post but I just thought Iâd shareâŠ
Did you watch this week, The Biggest Loser make over week? Wow, the contestants look great. I did not realize Liz was not even 50 until her make over I though like 60, now she looks younger then 50! Keep going Liz! I did feel Danny and Rudy had a too âboyishâ look but they still looked amazing. Rudy⊠grow your beard back. I bawled when Dannyâs Daughter said she canât wait to get on her journey and she says I never had a skinny dad! Our obesity has an enormous effect on our kids. When Allen cried so did I. I think I cried more then any other episode. Amanda⊠9 pounds! WOW!! Geez⊠I wish I had their opportunity! I have a hard time when the contestants pass my weight.

All my efforts have brought me no where when it comes to my weight issues. My best efforts have not been good enough. I have been seriously considering trying out for a new weight loss show. They would come to my house, not Jillianâs but another show that is now casting. I have been in contact with one of the recruiters, funny, he said I am on the thinner side, but send him my video any way. ME on the thinner side for a weight loss show… how pathetic am I? Do I really have to go that far? Are there not people out in this world willing to show compassion to help people like me with out breaking the bank? Have I sunk so low in my emotional obese self that I can not dig out of it? I really want to go to the Biggest Loser Resort to deal with my issues within myself with out distractions. I do not know how deep these pounds of pain go. I need to be removed from my environment and forced to deal with issues that I have buried so deep that I myself do not know what those issues are! But financially this is not possible right now. SoâŠ
I started writing out my application and thought I would share some of it with you.
Hi. My name is Camille Gibson. I am 41 years old, 5â9â and weigh about 275 lbs. I am married with three wonderful daughters; we reside in a suburb of Grand Rapids, Michigan.
I believe my obesity journey started as a baby to a single young mother. It was easier to shove a bottle in my mouth or set me in front of a TV with cookies then to deal being a young single mother. My mom did marry my dad and I have two sisters and a brother.
I was a fat baby, a fat child, a fat teen, I graduated fat, got married fat, had three daughters fat and am still fat. I even resorted to having my stomach stapled at the age of 20 when my highest weight of 347 became so desperate I did not want to live. As a last resort I had the surgery. I got to my lowest weight of 245 and with life and kids I have remained at the 265 to 275ish mark for over 20 years now.
Most my relatives are over weight to morbidly obese. My mother is over weight; her mother was over 400 pounds and her grandmother, I was told, was over 500 pounds. I want the obesity cycle to stop. I am about to send my almost 17 year old daughter off to college next year with my habits. She does not know to make eating healthy important or to make time for daily exercise. I have not taught her, I am her example. How do I teach her these things when I have never experienced them? I have never been thin I can not share that with my wonderful daughter who is entering young adult hood. I need help.
I am tired. All my life I gave my all to everyone who asked or seemed to need my help. I have given so much of me there is nothing left to give. I want for the first time in my life to be about me. In all that giving⊠I lost myself. I do not know who I am any more. I am 41 years old. It is not WHERE will I be in the next 25 years, its WILL I still be alive? I want that answer to be yes! Alive, healthy, sassy, hanging off my husband’s arm proudly; me happy and he proud to have such a beautiful wife by his side.
The application talks about how my weight affects family. My husband is 20 pounds over weight and has high cholesterol. We have a good relationship. Every year my husbandâs office has a Christmas party and every year I say âNext year I will not be this fatâ and every year I am this fat. My husband will not dance with me. I know itâs because I am 100 pounds more then him. I would not want to be embarrassed by me either. I want to dance with my husband. My daughter Sue almost 17 is 30 pounds over weight. Fun girl, VERY smart, I am proud of her. I donât want to send her out in the world with my health lessons. We need help not just for me. Sarah is 10 she is my athletic girl, very smart, very out spoken, popular and a fun kid as well. I want to keep it that way. I donât want her to lose herself in food like I did. I donât know how to teacher her not to. Then Staci, 9, is my most compassionate girl, she is very smart and sees things that most of us would not see. She loves animals, people and the earth. She says, âMommy youâre not fat, youâre just fluffyâ. I donât want her to lose that compassion for life. I donât want someone to crush her by calling her fat. The only way to stop that is to keep her healthy and prevent her from becoming over weight in the first place. I do not know how to do that. I always think I do only to fail.
Seven years ago we bought our kids a trampoline. Every day the girls would beg, “come on mommy, come jump with us” they did that for about three years and the asking dwindled down to never asking. I would make all the excuses and promise all the tomorrows but the real reason was I was over the weight limit to jump on the trampoline. Now my kids have almost out grown jumping on the âtrampâ and I never got that opportunity to share that fun with them. When we go to amusement parks I sit and wait on the benches for my kids and husband to wait in line to ride the rides. I do not want to get up to the ride and find I do not fit in the seat. I would jump to my death if that happened so I choose not to even try.
Medically, obviously, I am over weight. I suffer from acid reflux and go through about a bottle of Tums a week. I have venous insufficiency mostly in my left leg which causes severe swelling in my legs and ankles. I need to lose weight to improve maybe even cure this condition so I do not end up in a wheel chair at the age of 50. I am not on any medication, blood pressure is ok and cholesterol is normal so basically I am fat.
OK friends, that’s what I have written so far. What do you think? Should I send it in?
I recently bought Jillian Michaelâs Winning by Losing
book. I think this is her best book. I will share some interesting things I have read in a future post. Maybe I will share some of my book I started a while back about looking in the mirror. Itâs a pretty deep self image book but not finished because the last chapter I am saving for when I am at the weight I should be at.
Hey, I made a new drink recipe. Try it!
Raspberry Mocha Pick Me Up in the Afternoon Drink
10-12 oz cold coffee ( I use my left over hazelnut from the morning)
1 scoop raspberry biggest loser power
1/2 scoop vanilla bean biggest loser power
1/2 scoop chocolate biggest loser powder
A bunch of ice, mix well and enjoy!
Helps curb that afternoon wanna-snack-now craving!
90 cals
12 grams protein
Alright Friends, Take Care.
Camille
Posted in Camille | 3 Comments
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